Seriously, I know that these books are on opposite ends of the spectrum, but hear me out please. They both ultimately seek the same thing; they just go at it (hard!) in very different ways. Amy ‘s parenting style is based on fear but the root of her happiness comes from her children’s accomplishments. Gretchen’s parenting style is based on harmony and her happiness is a choice that she consciously chooses for herself. She believes that her children’s happiness is a derivative product of her own happiness.