Every human being is unique, and neurodivergent children often remind us of this most lovingly and kindly through their unusual way of seeing the world. However, the same characteristics can sometimes frustrate parents seeking tips to bring their kids up to be happy and productive members of society.
However, many of the tips parents of neurodivergent children can use to make daily life more manageable benefit everyone. After all, we are all humans with similar emotional, physical, and spiritual needs, even if we express our desires differently.
How can you organize your life to focus on the positive and allow your kids to flourish? Here are nine tips for parents with neurodivergent children.
1. Establish Routine
Routine is crucial for neurodivergent children. Without it, they experience stress, which can lead to maladaptive behaviors.
For example, a child might have an understandable meltdown if they can’t find the homework assignment they worked hard on the night before. However, if you always place completed work in a special folder in their backpack and rehearse it with them several times at the start of the school year, they’re less likely to misplace it.
Routine lends a sense of order and predictability to a chaotic world. It helps neurodivergent children develop trust. When your child feels secure that they can meet their needs by following the right steps, it inspires confidence that helps them get more comfortable taking life’s necessary risks.
2. Encourage a Growth Mindset
What is a growth mindset? Simply put, it’s the idea that anyone can improve at anything with time and practice. It’s particularly vital for neurodivergent children, who may learn differently from others in their peer group. Sadly, bullying from other kids and even adults can make such youngsters doubt their intelligence when they’re as capable of learning as anyone with the right approach.
You can best encourage a growth mindset through your attitude and modeling. For example, if your child gets a bad grade on a project, don’t punish them. Instead, say, “Well, that didn’t go as well as hoped. Let’s analyze what went wrong and figure out how to do better next time.”
3. Reduce Distractions
Many neurodivergent children struggle with distractions stealing their attention from the task at hand. One of the defining characteristics of ADHD is an inability to block non-urgent distractions, leading to uncompleted work and frustration.
These types of issues are at the root of ADHD and learning disabilities, which often manifest as difficulties in maintaining focus, organizing tasks, and following through on assignments. For children with ADHD, the world is full of stimuli that can derail their attention from necessary work, making it hard for them to prioritize and complete tasks. This challenge with managing distractions not only impacts academic performance but also affects everyday activities and social interactions.
Explaining this concept to children is better than strict rules with no context. “Put the phone away” breeds resentment and rebellion. “Let’s put your phone aside while we do this so that it’s not interrupting us,” provides justification. You can also:
- Encourage kids to sit close to the front of the room
- Provide to-do lists with step-by-step instructions on what to do in what order
- Create a tidy environment — encourage kids to clear their desks of everything but the assignment they are working on, for example.
- Use headphones to shut out unavoidable sounds and teach children to turn off device alerts.
4. Uncover the Purpose of Behaviors
Behaviors that make no sense to you often seem rational to the neurodivergent mind. For example, many children with sensory disorders rock themselves when overstimulated. They aren’t even wrong — this repetitive motion can activate the vagus nerve, a crucial part of your parasympathetic nervous system. It’s the opposite of fight-or-flight, acting to calm you. Your child is engaging in such behavior to self-soothe.
5. Keep Them Moving
While some neurodivergent children flourish in competitive sports, others find the fanfare overstimulating. However, a lack of movement contributes to the obesity epidemic.
Such children might thrive in non-competitive physical activities such as kiddie yoga, dance or martial arts. Keeping them moving is crucial to their physical development and helps prevent health issues from exacerbating behavioral problems.
6. Ask for Help and Find Resources
Please don’t think you’re alone in parenting a neurodivergent child. Some resources can help, regardless of your socioeconomic status:
- Support groups: A quick Google search reveals in-person and online support groups for parents.
- Therapy: You or your children may qualify for free medical assistance through Medicaid. You can apply through the Healthcare.gov portal during open enrollment or when a significant life event changes your coverage status.
- Online learning resources: You can find various free tools to help neurodivergent children learn more effectively.
7. Use a Reward System
It isn’t only neurodivergent children who respond better to rewards than punishment. Most human beings operate similarly.
Change your parenting focus to rewarding positive behaviors instead of punishing those you disapprove of. For example, hang a “chore chart” on the refrigerator and reward your child by letting them select the dinner menu or treating them to a special dessert when they complete their share without prompting.
8. Question Your Belief System
The beautiful thing about neurodivergent children is how they make you question your vision of how the world “should” be. Is it really “bad” to refuse to wear something tight or itchy? Why suffer discomfort when there are other acceptable ways to look fashionable, and people care more about your presence, anyway?
9. Work on Yourself and Cultivate Patience
Perhaps the best thing you can do to help your neurodivergent child grow up strong and independent is to work on yourself. It isn’t easy to take a long look in the mirror and evaluate what you could do differently and better. Be gentle with yourself but dedicated to making progress.
Spend time in meditation, mindfully exploring your parenting practices. If you have the means, attend therapy. It doesn’t mean you have a mental disorder — dozens of people do so weekly to receive help and guidance handling daily problems like child-rearing.
Tips for Parents of Neurodivergent Children
Raising a neurodivergent child can be a challenge. The right tips make it easier.
These tips for parents of neurodivergent children can help you navigate daily life. You’ll avoid meltdowns and share more smiles with your beloved child.
p.s. Related posts:
10 Picture Books About Sensory Differences
15 #OwnVoices Books about Autism
OCD Characters in Children’s and Young Adult Books
Physical and Developmental Challenge Books for Kids
4 Tips to Get Kids with ADHD to Read
Books for Back to School Issues: Bullying, Nut Allergy, ADHD and more
Best Books on Children’s Learning Disabilities (ADHD, ADD, Dyslexia)
Children’s Books on Mental Health Support During Stressful Times
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