All you wanted was a nice, relaxing family dinner after a long day. Instead, you get a tearful meltdown and a refusal to eat. Hours later, as you toss in turn in bed, you agonize over how you handled the situation. It’s a scenario to which many parents can relate.
Kids will naturally go through picky eating phases. However, that knowledge doesn’t stop parents from worrying about how their child’s behavior may affect their growth and development. If you wonder whether there’s something deeper wrong, you aren’t alone.
Fortunately, most people develop a more varied diet as they age and your kids will likely be no exception. When should you raise the alarm? Here’s how to spot the difference between “normal” picky eating and something else.
What Causes Picky Eating in Young Children?
Here’s the kicker, parents — your kid’s taste buds might be very different from yours simply because of their age. For example, children begin life averse to bitter and sour flavors and can detect subtle hints far more readily than adults. The result? Your kid would prefer to go hungry rather than eat that nutritious salmon and mixed greens salad you lovingly prepared.
Across the globe and in various cultures, young children have pickier eating habits than adults. The problem compounds if your child has sensory-processing sensitivities, but you might find these easier to work around. For example, if mac and cheese is on their list of “safe” foods, try adding some eggs for protein or disguise a bit of cauliflower amid the noodles.
Are you still concerned that you might need to call the doctor? Ask yourself the following questions first.
1. How Many Foods Will Your Child Eat?
It’s normal for kids to pass the lima beans. However, if they have roughly 30 or so “safe” foods they’ll indulge in without complaint, chances are they’re meeting their nutritional requirements. Gently encourage them to expand their diet without using force or manipulation.
2. What Are My Motivations?
Why do you insist your kid eats when they refuse? Be mindful of meeting immediate desires only to create long-term problems. You probably have legitimate concerns — such as nutrition and growth — but other factors may contribute.
For example, hard economic times could have you feeling the pinch. Are you angry about wasting food? There’s no shame in bringing such emotions into your conscious awareness if you use them to examine their effects on your behavior toward your young one.
Your past could also drive you. Did your parents insist on you becoming a member of the clean plate club> as a child? If so, you might follow their parenting style without evaluating if it was the best approach.
3. Are Symptoms Ongoing or Come-and-Go?
Does your young one refuse to eat all the time? Or does their appetite vary from day to day? While kids need more nutrition in general to support their development, they’re also prone to the natural ups and downs anyone has in their appetite.
Your answers to these questions can help ease your mind. They can also reveal more severe problems. For example, a child who will only eat 20 foods or less and howls if an “unsafe” food touches another on their plate might have a deeper issue beyond picky eating.
Are Older Children “Picky” or Is It Something More?
Picky eating becomes more concerning as your kids’ age. Eating disorders can occur in children younger than 12, so pay attention. These conditions are more prevalent in females, although males are catching up — remain aware regardless of gender. Signs of these conditions include:
- Refraining from eating
- Reduced food portions
- Weight loss
- Loss of hair
- Delayed puberty
- Mood swings
- Hiding or hoarding food
Be careful, too, that your obsession with trying various diet fads doesn’t pass on to your children. Orthorexia is a condition where kids may refuse to eat from entire food groups like carbs or consume only a selected list of safe “healthy” foods. While it may sound dreamy if your child craves nothing but grilled salmon and greens, it’s not good for their social and emotional development. Extreme diets can also impact them physically.
4 Tips for Dealing With Picky Eating in Your Kids
What can you do if your kids are picky? Try these tips:
- Link: Introduce new foods with others your child likes. Instead of swapping tenders and mac and cheese for salad and fish, tuck in a few greens alongside the noodles.
- Disguise: There are millions of recipes online to help you disguise healthy veggies in stealth foods like brownies.
- Check: Curb your immediate reaction if you notice your young one’s picky eating. Instead, take a deep breath, get mindful, and ask yourself if reacting at all is the best approach. After all, would you like someone monitoring your every bite at each meal, insisting you took just one more?
- Talk: If your kid doesn’t like a particular food, ask them why. You might get little more than “it’s yucky,” — and that’s okay. The important thing is opening up the dialogue. You can explain that it’s okay for them to have unique likes and dislikes. Sometimes, this reassurance that it’s their choice to eat does the trick.
When to Reach Out for Help
If your child refuses to eat to the point where it threatens their health or you suspect an eating disorder, please reach out for help. Their pediatrician is the best resource. You can also find free and low-cost mental health care for families through various agencies.
Is It “Picky Eating” or Something More?
It’s natural to feel concerned when your child won’t eat — nutrition is crucial to their development. However, kids are naturally pickier than adults. Use these questions and tips to determine if it’s something more. Otherwise, let genuine love and empathy for your child decide your approach.
p.s. Related posts:
How to Guard Your Child from Developing Eating Disorders
9 Ways to Inspire Your Children to Eat Healthy
FOOD FOR THE FUTURE is a Junior Library Guild Selection!
Picture Book Announcement! Food for the Future: Sustainable Farms Around the World
Cover Reveal! Food for Hope: How John van Hengel Invented Food Banks and Fed the Hungry
Diverse Foodie Picture Books from 2022
To examine any book more closely at Indiebound or Amazon, please click on image of book.
As an Amazon and IndieBound Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
Follow PragmaticMom’s board Parenting Village on Pinterest.
My books:
Food for the Future: Sustainable Farms Around the World
- Junior Library Guild Gold selection
- Selected as one of 100 Outstanding Picture Books of 2023 by dPICTUS and featured at the Bologna Children’s Book Fair
- Starred review from School Library Journal
- Chicago Library’s Best of the Best
- Imagination Soup’s 35 Best Nonfiction Books of 2023 for Kids
Amazon / Barefoot Books / Signed or Inscribed by Me
Amazon / Scholastic / Signed or Inscribed by Me
