Health issues can pop up at any time, in anyone, and for a huge number of reasons. Learning that a loved one is going through any kind of health issue can be frightening for adults, and a confusing, stressful, and frustrating time. Children who are put in the position of understanding that something is wrong with a family member is delicate situation and can be something that is difficult for the child to comprehend and manage.
Be Truthful
While most parents want to lean towards hiding the truth from their children, in hopes that it will make things easier on them, this is not the best way to go. Being open, honest, and upfront with your children about a loved ones’ illness can be much better for them in the long run. Children do not need to understand every detail, but knowing what is going on and what they may see along the way can be helpful in allowing them to understand and prepare for what’s next.
Don’t Hide Your Feelings
Children learn very much about how to interact with the world from their parents. Allowing yourself to be open with your emotions helps your children to feel safe doing the same. They will also learn how to deal with those emotions from watching parents. If the parents struggle with sadness or anger issues or are even having a difficult time communicating about the family member who is ill, talking to a professional to help release those emotions and learn how to deal with them may help even more.
Stay on the Same Page
Whatever your parenting situation, make sure you and the other parental unit(s) involved are on the same page about the illness and what the child will be told. There is no way to tell how news like this will affect a child, and being equal about how you handle their reactions and emotions will help them feel safer in expressing their emotions and keep stability in their lives. At the same time, be prepared to answer all of the questions. Younger children will work better with simple, straightforward answers to any questions they may have, or they might be completely uninterested. Older children will likely want to know more about what is going on, even asking questions about catching the illness or death, or seeing a loved one taking a fit test, or going through routines that they didn’t previously have.
Keep Routines
A family member with an illness may be a major or minor upset in a child’s life, but either way, it is helpful to keep consistent routines. As much as possible, the child should still live their normal routines like mealtimes, bedtimes, and times designated to spend with their parents or family. Children of any age may express their emotions through actions as well, although this is more common in younger children. The child may be more clingy or whiney, or even express some emotions through art or play. Try to understand that this is a product of fear, and instead of allowing impatience or anger, give the child more love and support.
Try to Get on Their Level
The illness of a family member may be overwhelming for you, and you may be struggling to keep your own routines and emotions consistent and healthy. However, in a time like this with children involved it is important to take the time to give the children your undivided attention while you talk to them about what is going on. Knowing your child well and paying attention to developmental stages and understanding is important to this step. Perhaps it would help your child to hear about the people who are helping the family member, like doctors or nurses or other types of first responders and caregivers. Perhaps your child would benefit from knowing there are ways they can help the family member themselves.
Dealing with a family member with illness can be difficult for the whole family. Children need extra attention and care when something like this is going on. It is important to take care of yourself and make sure you are well and healthy and dealing with your emotions in a healthy way, and at the same time, it is also important for your children to be given the assistance and space to do the same.
Photo by Ketut Subiyanto from Pexels
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