Do you have a family set of mantras? We had dear family friends visiting when I discovered that they have certain {hilarious} family mantras that define their family’s values and actions.
Bengo Family Mantras:
1. First Flight Out
I didn’t realize that they always take the first flight out. I would have guessed their flight mantra is NO CHECKED LUGGAGE! Our family mantra in this topic would be Direct Flight Only!
2. Bengos Don’t Lose
I noticed that any type of competition amongst our families gets quite heated, as each pairing of a Bengo and a Lee battles fiercely to win. I just thought that our families are competitive in nature, born of a love of sports. But that’s not entirely it. The Bengos have been raised with a mantra not to lose … which means they have to win.
As my daughter noticed in early kitchen ping pong matches, our family lost every single match to a Bengo. This entailed a change in a strategy. Instead of facing off with a Bengo, partner with them!
3. Effort is Everything
As a corollary to Bengos Don’t Lose, effort counts in the Bengo household. I noticed this when the Bengo dad started losing in kitchen ping pong to my son (who played ping pong for six weeks at summer day camp recently). He was determined to figure out how to successfully play against my son, determining that a short serve was his only chance for a return hit. He played against my son day after day until the final night where he finally beat him for a few rounds. Bengos Don’t Lose by not giving up!
Part of the Bengo Family Mantras is the underlying message of kindness and compassion. They may beat you in ping pong, but they are also rooting for you and helping you get better. And everyone is welcome to play. If you get tired of losing, do what we did. Pair up with a Bengo!
–> Be Kind. Put Yourself in Their Shoes
The Bengo family mantras got me thinking about the unspoken mantras in our family.
The Lee Family Mantras are:
1. Don’t Be Late
You can count on our family to be early at a party, annoying so in fact. Our kids have been trained to roll out of bed and make it to the car in less than three minutes if necessary. We believe that being on time shows respect to the collective. Time management, also, is a vital life skill for success.
2. Be Efficient
Our family values getting the most done in the least amount of time. Perfection isn’t the goal, quantity counts! This is not to say that we are buzzing with activity all day long. There is plenty of downtime and napping going on, but it’s more that when you need to get things done, do it efficiently. Plan ahead. Don’t forget things. Do it right the first time so you don’t have to do it over.
3. Try Something New
As a family, we pride ourselves on introducing our kids’ friends to weird eats at ethnic restaurants. Usually, the kids delight with their willingness to try something new and usually discover a few things that they now enjoy eating. We are fans of pigs’ ears, chicken feet, sweetbreads (veal brains), frog’s legs, sea cucumber, oxtail, and more. Our kids are now self-proclaimed “foodies” and that’s had several implications that I didn’t realize.
One: my daughter told me that she has a positive relationship with food because she’s been raised as a foodie, making eating disorders less likely.
Two: “What’s for dinner?” is probably the question most often posed in a day in our household. My husband gets annoyed when my daughter asks what’s for dinner at home in order to compare other options at a friend’s house, but usually, our dinner wins out.
Three: How do you teach kids to take risks and develop resilience? I honestly think that it’s all about trying new things. A long time ago, our pediatrician told us that kids need to try new food at least 25 times before they will accept it. Taking risks by trying new food can carry into other areas of life.
My husband’s corollary is similar to the Bengo’s mantra of Bengo’s Don’t Lose. He is often found celebrating a golf victory with his mantra:
–> Winning Does Not Suck
How about you? What are your family mantras? I think we all have them even if we are not conscious of them. Thanks for sharing!
(This Tik Tok video of the Bengo siblings dancing looks effortless, but it took 6.5 hours of practice over two nights in the middle of the night to execute).
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