Peter Bregman lost his father and it made him feel a little lost. And even more so in the midst of a pandemic, economic collapse, and racial injustice. He writes about this in an article in Harvard Business Review: Let Yourself Be Unproductive. At Least for a Little While.
I can relate to him. I lost my mother this past fall. I’m a planner and a maker of To Do lists like Peter. I judge my day and self-worth by my productivity. So it’s hard to be unproductive. When my kids were in preschool from 9:00 am to 11:30 am M/W/F, I really pushed the envelope to get everything done in that short, short window. With this training, you should see how many errands I can run in just 15 minutes. In fact, I learned how productive small increments of time such as 15 minutes can be from being a mom with kids in the shortest preschool day ever.
So it’s really hard for me to “waste time.” Just like Peter Bregman:
My instinctive drive to push past it kicks in. To plan and to-do list and schedule my way to productivity and achievement and forward progress. That, I know how to do. It’s my comfort during uncertainty.
But I also have an opposing impulse, a quieter voice, one that feels deeper, more profound, and even scarier: Stay unproductive.
At least for a little while. Feel the sadness, the loss, the change. Sink into the discomfort of not moving forward, not getting things done. In a strange way, not progressing may be its own form of productivity. Something fruitful is happening, we’re just not controlling it.
But losing my schedule and To Do list opens up a world of quiet possibilities. Peter asks, “How can I allow myself to be changed?” I ask myself, “What matters now? What do I want to do?” And the answer seems to be in the small moments of everyday living. My yoga teachers would be proud as I struggle to stay in the moment. Not in the future with To Do lists checked off and goals to be accomplished.
Which is why to slow down rather than speed up, to pause and feel, to approach this moment, with an openness and willingness to be changed, is really, really hard. Peter Bregman
Leo Babauta of Zen Habits also posts on working less recently:
“When it comes to work, I’ve found that most of us fall in one of two camps:
- We work way too hard, constantly churning, never feeling like we got enough done; or
- We put off work, going to distractions, feeling guilty about how little we’re getting done.”
For those of us who are trying to work less, he proposes:
Work less.
Do fewer things.
Be more fully in those fewer things.
Recognize your victories.
Rest more. Play more. Connect more.
It’s so funny/strange that this is easier said than done. But I am trying. Usually, I play one round of golf a year with my family ever since my kids were young. My husband is an avid golfer (ScratchAt50 on Instagram). But I hadn’t played a single round of golf for the past 18 months. So this summer, I decided to work on my game and I’ve played golf nearly every week (and hit balls into the net in our basement).
I’ve also started taking art classes again to improve my figure and portrait drawing. The pandemic shut down my in-person classes and I don’t like to learn on Zoom. Instead, I’ve been drawing my husband as he fishes.
I’ve taken over the dog-walking responsibility during the pandemic quarantine too. It’s nice to walk and let my mind wander. My dog and I have also discovered different dog parks all over town and the joys of spotting wildlife all around us.
So what haven’t I done? I am struggling to read the piles of books on my office floor. I haven’t really worked on writing picture book manuscripts. I have a new idea for a memoir on my dorm room startup. Nothing has happened on that idea … yet. I took a month off on my blog despite having a To Do list of blog post ideas.
I’m filling my time staying in the moment. I exercise more frequently. I jump in the car with my kids whenever they express the desire to run errands. I contacted my old career coach and started working with her again.
I’m not sure what will shake out but I feel like this new unscheduled space, though difficult to maintain, will yield a path forward. And this journey of meandering exploration may just be the silver lining in this pandemic.
How about you? How are you faring during COVID-19? Did your town go into quarantine too? What changes are you making? Thanks for sharing!
p.s. Related posts:
19 Picture Books That Teach Important Life Lessons
Who Me? Sleepless Over Sleep Away Camp?
Lessons From the Dog Park Applied to My Blog … Changes A Comin’
SAY HER NAME March Boston organized by Black Lives Matter
Peter Bregman is the CEO of Bregman Partners, a company that helps successful people become better leaders, create more effective teams, and inspire their organizations to produce great results. Best-selling author of 18 Minutes, his most recent book is Leading with Emotional Courage. He is also the host of the Bregman Leadership Podcast. To identify your leadership gap, take Peter’s free assessment.
Leo Babauta is a blogger at Zen Habits. His blog is about clearing the clutter so we can focus on what’s important, create something amazing, and find happiness.
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My books:
Food for the Future: Sustainable Farms Around the World
- Junior Library Guild Gold selection
- Selected as one of 100 Outstanding Picture Books of 2023 by dPICTUS and featured at the Bologna Children’s Book Fair
- Starred review from School Library Journal
- Chicago Library’s Best of the Best
- Imagination Soup’s 35 Best Nonfiction Books of 2023 for Kids
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I lost my mom in 2015. I’m also a productive person. I still had to go to work, but I found everything else nearby impossible to deal with. Including and almost especially Jazzercise. I had no energy. I tried to go, but while it would normally be easy to keep up the pace, I just couldn’t. I finally took a few months off from Jazzercise which was the right move. I gave myself space to not be productive. There was a fear it would never come back, that I would change into being a person who wasn’t productive. But after some months, it got better. I eventually returned to Jazzercise and I took on new projects. Grief is weird and it looks different than you think it will.
Hang in there, Mia–grief is hard.
I’ve been following Zen habits for a few years now, and even though I don’t practice as much as I should, I still find it helpful to remind me to focus on one task, and be as mindful as possible while doing so.
Thanks so much Maria! Your kind words are comforting!