child's inner voice, New Year Goals for my son

Your Child’s Inner Voice is You!

My 8-Year-Old Son’s New Year Resolution

I remembered this quote from Pinterest and it reminded me of the influence we have over our children. We can box them in with “you can’t … ” or open doors with “you can be anything you want to be.”

child's inner voice, the way you talk to your child becomes their inner voice

From Spiritually Speaking.

Then, when I dropped my 8-year-old son off at school, I saw his classroom hallway display with the kids’ New Year’s Resolutions. I read them all but could not tell which one was my son’s. He reluctantly showed me.

It seems that the nagging we do about too much screen time has left an impression. And his reluctance to identify his balloon stemmed from knowing that he, in fact, is on screens too much.

child's inner voice, New Year Goals for my son

It’s funny that our “Less Screen Time” message morphed into a more exercise message. I’m not sure if it’s made a difference.

The sports he plays are all organized sports and he spends a lot of time negotiating which practices he will wants to skip with me. The make up soccer practice last night since he will miss practice for a birthday party was nixed in exchange for the new Club Soccer Winter practice on Sunday. Fine!

As for screen time, he finished all his work before dinner and excused himself. PickyKidPix remarked that he had two screens going simultaneously, a video game on the computer while watching TV. 

My first impression after seeing his balloon resolution was to laugh from feeling a little guilty that I nag him coupled with the realization that what I say does sink in.

At least he seems to have gotten over worry that his handwriting isn’t good enough.

How about your kids? Did they make New Year’s resolutions? Do you find that what you say repeatedly to them affects them as their inner voice?

By Mia Wenjen, PragmaticMom


  1. Gosh, how true! Only this morning I was grumbling about how messy upstairs was-we take a friend to school as well as my daughter and they’d been playing. I went downstairs to get my son ready and eventually got fed up asking them to come down to get ready for school so I shouted. Only to be told that the reason they were taking their time was because they were tidying up! I felt so guilty, and so thankful to my daughter (who had instigated it.) being a parent is such a huge responsibility in ways we sometimes don’t even realise.
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    • Hi Redpeffer,
      It does make me feel kind of guilty of the constant nagging I do to my kids. Get off the screens is a big one for my son … he’s translated it into more exercise which, I suppose, is not terrible.

      I guess I need to be more careful of what I say since it’s clear to me know that my kids internalize what I say. Who knew? It seemed to go in one ear and out the other!
      Pragmatic Mom recently posted…Your Child’s Inner Voice is You!My Profile

  2. Elle Carter Neal

    Wow, that yellow box quote is worth printing out and sticking up somewhere I’ll see it often. It’s frightening how much influence we have as parents over a little person. The responsibility overwhelms me often. Sometimes I feel it’s like trying to hold a butterfly but it’s impossible to do so without some of the delicate little scales on the wings rubbing off on your fingers. We can only hope that our touch is light enough that when we release our babies, they can truly fly.
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  3. Alexandra

    One has to be soo careful when talking to the kids! It always amazes me how much they can actually remember…
    My niece resolution is to learn French. I wasn’t sure how to behave when it comes to this to be honest – she is 5 (and thanks to my better half being English, already bilingual). I don’t want to discourage her and I wonder how on earth did she come up with this resolution, at home we hate french and I am sure I have stated many times how the sound of this language cracks me up. Maybe she is so cunning already and wants to know a language that I do not know in case she needs to be secret! Oh!
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  4. Not a new year’s resolution, but at school they did dreams for MLK day. Believe it or not, my son told me his “Dream” was to do more of what I ask. HAHAHAHA!

  5. It is sometimes scary how much internalizing goes on with children. My three year old grandson not only remembers what his mother says but imitates her voice and gestures!

  6. I love that quote. My kids have not set resolutions, but I definitely see the things I say affecting them.
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  7. It is amazing to know how do they internalize the messages we are trying to convey.
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  8. Jeanette Nyberg

    What a great quote. I saw this post and shared it, but just realized I forgot to comment. It really resonates, and I agree with Elle that it’s worth hanging up somewhere to remind us constantly to be aware of what we’re saying.
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  9. True that everything we say affects them. They share our fears. A friend of mine noticed that her son was withdrawn, then when she asked him what was going on in his mind he said ” mum am worried that you have not paid the house rent.” He had overheard the mother sharing her fears about lack of finances with a friend.

    So its not only what we tell them, but we should be careful what we say in their presence.
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  10. Visiting from Monday Kid Corner ( I often feel like I’m talking to myself but then I hear my kids say something to my husband that I’ve said to them!

    Have a terrific week! And be sure to check out the other linkies this week, listed on our site.

  11. Ann

    It is good to occasionally self reflect as a parent. I know I am a work in progress. This also reminds me of a parenting book I read about parenting teens and It basically said the same. Not to lose heart that what you say to you child is getting through even though it doesn’t seem it and helps to form their inner voice.
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    • Hi Ann,
      You are so together! What was the teen parenting book? I can’t believe you are reading ahead for teen parenting when you don’t have a teen yet. So admirable. I could use the teen parenting book as a parent of a new teen and whose teen has mystifying behavior!
      Pragmatic Mom recently posted…Kitchen on Fire and Fire SafetyMy Profile

  12. You are so right Mia. And the incredible thing is that even at 16 years old my son is still so influenced by what I say. This morning I commented to him about how happy he seemed to be by waking up on his own time, having a good breakfast and wearing a smile. He started conversation with me, he shared his thoughts with me and he repeated back to me words I had always said to him, “You know mom, I can accomplish a whole lot more when I feel positive and happy than when I feel tired and grumpy.” WOW!! I have always tried to surround my children with words and actions that will empower them, challenge them. Sometimes it feels like nothing is getting through but then, one fine sunny day there it is. It has become a part of them. Thank you for reminding me of our own powers with words.
    By Lisa from my LinkedIn Group Working Moms. Virtual. Flexible. Part-Time. Full-Time.
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  13. It is so gratifying to know that what we say to our teenagers actually penetrates through! i am a parent to my first teen so this is all new to me! Thanks for the beacon of hope for my teen parenting years to come!
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  14. Ann

    I am not really that together! I read it for my step kids as they were teens.

    I think it was this one…
    Get Out of My Life, but First Could You Drive Me & Cheryl to the Mall

    I liked the title!
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  15. Kim

    Thanks for the reminder that they are always listening!
    I really like that quote. I find my time in the car driving my kids to school or
    other activities is a great time to talk. They hear a lot more than they
    let on.
    Thanks for the great posting.

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