Get Your Child to Hate Reading
I found this poster by Horn Book at my preschool. One of our assistant teachers was a children’s librarian and got this at a library conference. Hope you love it as much as I do. Because, of course, we all want to raise kids who hate books! 🙂
by Dean Schneider and Robin Smith
1. Never Read where your children can see you.
2. Put a TV or Computer in every room. Don’t neglect the bathrooms and kitchen.
3. Correct Your Child every time she mispronounces a word.
4. Schedule Activities every day after school so your child will never get bored.
5. Once your child can read independently, Throw Out The Picture Books. They’re for babies!
6. Don’t Play board games together. Too dull.
7. Give little Rewards for reading. Stickers and plastic toys are good. Money is even better.
8. Don’t expect your children to enjoy reading. Kids’ books are for Teaching vocabulary, proper study habits, and good morals.
9. Buy only 40-Watt Bulbs for your lamps.
10. Under NO circumstances, read your child the same book Over and Over. She heard it once. She should remember it.
11. Never allow your children to listen to Books on Tape, that’s cheating.
12. Make sure your kids only read books that are “challenging.” Easy Books are a complete waste of time. That goes double for comic books and Mad Magazine.
13. Absolutely, positively No Reading in Bed!