How To: Cope after the Unbearable Loss of a Child

Coping Strategies After Death of a Child

This sensitive post is from The Children’s Book Writer.  She has a great blog and I always find interesting posts on a variety of topics there.  I was talking to Capability:Mom the other day about her friend whose two children both have had cancer.  Unimaginable!  One child’s cancer is in remission but the other child’s cancer is the bad kind.  The thought of a child dying brings overwhelming emotion to any parent, even it the child is not ours.  But for those who have actually experienced the unbearable loss of a child, Randy Gilbert, the guest author of her post,  suggests two helpful ideas:

  • Don’t try to rush the grief journey. Let it be in your own time. Everyone is different and grieves in his or her own way.
  • Find what works for you.

And when the family is ready to move forward, he gives these ideas:

Do something special to honor your lost child. Make it a monthly or yearly project. Get the other members of your family together and coordinate it. It can be anything that makes you feel closer to your child: scholarships, memory gardens, scrapbooks, or gift baskets to your child’s friends. There are a number of things parents can do to keep their child’s memory alive.

You need to move forward. Find ways for you and your family to adjust to the loss.

  • Rearrange the seating at your dinner table so that the empty chair will not always be a reminder that a family member is missing. Do the same thing with the family car. Sit in a different place than you normally do.
  • Physical activity helps. Whether it is walking, biking, swimming, or just walking the mall, an activity helps you cope as each day passes.
  • Helping others is the best way to heal yourself. Get involved in a selfless project. The satisfaction and gratitude you receive from helping others will soothe you.
  • Attend a grieving organization meeting. They are located in almost every state. They lend support and walk beside you in grief because they have lost children also.

Dr. Proactive, Randy Gilbert, enjoys producing the “Inside Parenting Success” show hosted by Jodie Lynn. She presents her insightful interview with Frank and Cathy James ( based upon the techniques from their book. You can hear the entire inspirational interview for free by going to:

For the entire post, please click here.

By Mia Wenjen, PragmaticMom

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