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Humor for Moms: The Next Survivor Series

Six married men on an island with 1 car and 3 kids for 6 weeks

THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports and take either music or dance classes.

There is no fast food.

Each man must take care of his 3 kids; maintain his career, keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of ‘pretend’ bills with not enough money.

In addition, each man will have to budget enough money for groceries each week.

Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and send cards out on time — no emailing — get birthday presents for children’s birthday parties (nicely wrapped, of course!)

Each man must also take each child to a doctor’s appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment.

He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Emergency Room.

He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a school function.

Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside, and keeping it presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.

The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, adorn themselves with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep fingernails polished or at least clean,and eyebrows groomed.

During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches, headaches, have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties.

They must attend weekly school meetings and church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.

They will need to read a book to the kids each night and in the morning, feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair by 7:30 am.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child’s birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size, doctor’s name, the child’s weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of labor, each child’s favorite color, middle name, favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear, and what they want to be when they grow up. Additional points for knowing their children’s best friends AND those children’s extracurricular schedules for setting up play dates.

The kids will  vote them off the island based on performance.

The last man wins only if … he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment’s notice.

If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years, eventually earning the right to be called Mother!

After you get done laughing, send this to as many females as you think will get a kick out of it and as many men as you think can handle it.

Just don’t send it back to me….

I’m going to bed.

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By Mia Wenjen, PragmaticMom

4 Comments

  1. AWESOME! Where do I send my husband’s application package? Ha ha! Thanks for the laugh. Forwarding this to all of my mommy friends… and my husband!

    I am a new subscriber.

  2. Sarah Edgcomg

    Too funny!

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